Hope or Belief?
Sometime or the other we would have been touched by the life of the simple girl Heidi. This wonderful character plays the lead role in the children’s novel of the same name written by Johanna Spyri as her commitment to her dying son. The story line is all about a pleasant simple girl, orphaned young who finds herself as a playmate for a rich but disabled girl called Clara. The story is all about friendship and love between these two girls.
There have been many adaptations of the story and a recent one is being aired in a TV channel between 10:30 pm – 11:00 pm every night. This is the time of my compulsive channel surfing as I try to escape the “Women against women” soap. Of late I have been settling down to this cartoon serial. And everyday there has been a learning for me. The stark difference when you involve yourself in a child’s world which is away from petty jealousy, scheming plans and “first to finish” race – is something that I have found cathartic, purging all the heaviness one accumulates during the day.
The entire story is about how the self-doubting Clara gains confidence to walk. And the energy for Clara to walk comes not from within but from the exuberance that Heidi expresses every time she speaks to Clara about walking. The confidence that Heidi has that Clara can and will walk translates into action every time. But when you see the elders around Clara – though they want Clara to walk, their feelings are marred by the knowledge that medical science has written this off as only a remote possibility. What the Elders exhibit is a strong hope that Clara will walk one day – while Heidi in her undiluted faith firmly believes Clara can walk. It is this difference between Hope and Belief that causes the whale of the difference in the support Clara draws from Heidi and Others.
It is this thought that hit me hard as I was viewing Heidi – why Clara with the best of medical support, love from her family was not able to walk but when she was with Heidi it became a possibility? In both places Clara had well wishers, supporter and especially in Frankfurt she had also best of medical help. But what Clara got in Frankfurt were people who were HOPING she will walk one day – but in Heidi Clara got a friend who BELIEVED firmly Clara will walk. When you believe something can happen you are actively involved in all planes to make it happen – but when you are hoping things will go right you are expecting almost always an external force (most often divine intervention) to bail you out. In other words, “Is the feeling ‘hope’ a diluted version of ‘Belief’?”
How are we when we say we support our friends and peers as they face challenge? Does our action convey fervent hope that the person should come out victorious or does our action convey confidence of belief that they will emerge victorious? Just a thin line between these two – but a line that could make a world of difference to someone!!
Bottleneck
“The neck of the bottle is always at the top!!!” BUT OBVIOUSLY…
However this is not what we hear when we speak as managers. Very often when we are interacting we hear a deep sigh ” I am not sure why my team is allergic to work!” or the even more famous “Nowadays there is no ownership or accountability in the ranks”..”Despite all our efforts, we just don’t seem to be growing”.
The problem that we face in delivery, business and growth is always perceived to be at the bottom. Traditionally we used to assume the head of the structure be it a small project, a Business Development Team or an organization is the person who is bearing the brunt of the problem – hence the root cause of this has to lie some where else.. maybe in people/team below in hierarchy. But very often we find when we do a study, the problem starts from this very group.
The inability of the person at the top to message the organizational or project need clearly and detail the contribution that is expected from each of the team member is a key reason for what is perceived as an execution layer failure. The execution layer often comprises of high energy individuals whose individuality needs to be harnessed to create the difference. But most often the people in the leadership position seek to create consistent and predictable performing group.
While sustained consistency in performance is a remarkable delivery quality – what one needs to remember is the level itself has to be constantly improved. The onus for this often is assumed to rest in the leader – which is the place where the problem arises.
A leader’s role in an organization is to gather, create and maintain a positive momentum of growth. The role is not to fix the speed of the journey. When a person assumes the leadership position in any context, he needs to be constantly aware if he is going to be becoming the bottle neck for flow of thoughts, energy and action of his execution team. The Question is not if the team can keep pace with the leader – but is the leader truly allowing his team to run faster?
Something is better than Nothing BUT Nothing is better than Nonsense
Agree? But then how many of us opt for nothing over something? We all want to be representatives of perpetual motion always doing something. It is ironical that a man spends first half of his life being pushed, cajoled into a false sense of urgency constantly in the need to “DO” something and, then spends his second half of his life in a frenzy to seek peace from “Nothingness”!! Ample proof is the increasing numbers of spiritual students between 30-40.
If one makes a list of things that one has done since this morning, you can find at least 2-3 instances where your actions could have been without any reason, purpose and also involuntary – out of years of practice of having to always do something! You can see such people all around you always – people who have to be doing something.
The favorite candidate tag line during interviews is “I have to have work.. I need to be onto something ALWAYS.. I can’t sit idle”!! You recruit this candidate because he sounds like a go-getter. In the initial days this person represents a busy bee- at times even an entire bee hive. His energy level is contagious and you can see movement all around his peers. There is a sense that they are always unto something. But very soon if you are lucky enough to be just an observer (or unlucky to be his manager) you will find there is nothing coming out of this frenzy of activities. Things seem to be moving while staying all the time in the same place. It is like walking yourself faster and faster on a Treadmill – at the end of a 5 km jog you find yourself in the same place and stinking of sweat! The high energy that was so encouraging in the interview is becoming a deterrent – because action all the time is not allowing time for thinking and planning!
As a part of our leadership training we have a module called the “Restlessness of Rest”. In a brightly lit room we assemble all the participants and tell them they have to do absolutely NOTHING for 10 mins. Never can you find so much action from any senior manager group! From subtle fidgeting, scribbling, walking around the room to more daring making of faces, discordant loud humming, paper planes to composing emails on black berry – one can see it all! You can try it in your unit or organization – it provides valuable insights! By the time we are done with the team we have definitely achieved in them looking at their inherent “restlessness” in a more constructive manner – and thinking how that energy can be utilized constructively by doing Nothing over nonsense!
Although it is rare you can find people who can actually enjoy a moment of nothingness. The bliss of not having to do anything! We owe our lessons on “Nothing” to this senior vice president of a large MNC who has not only mastered this but has also been successful in converting few of us to enjoy nothingness. In one of our early encounters with him we walked into his cabin and seeing him “DOING NOTHING” offered the standard conversation protocol “Sorry to have bothered you!”. He said “It’s alright! I was enjoying doing nothing when you interrupted”.
We thought he was being humorous. It took us many more interactions with him to realize he actually meant we were interrupting his tryst with NOTHINGNESS. His career has been the most impressive and he has been role model to many youngsters in various organization – and he is a firm believer of “Nothingness”. He says it is these precious moments of nothingness that rejuvenates him and he says one needs to know how to enjoy those moments. According to him “Doing Nothing” requires serious practice – these are moments were your mind is NOT thinking on your competitive advantage, progress of your peer or your next pay check! But these are moments where you do NOTHING!
We have personally benefitted in this practice of doing NOTHING especially after we have become entrepreneurs. In the first year we have never had a moment of rest – every minute of ours was consumed by the passion of running our small organization. Somewhere in between we realized we were getting stereotyped in our solutions, our thoughts and ideas. We were sensing a discomfort of burning down faster by running too fast. It was then we happened to meet this person again – when it clicked to us that the art of doing NOTHING becomes significant when you actually have too many things to do.
It takes you momentarily out of your situation – calms your nervous system – initiates circulation of fresh thoughts – channelizes energy and voila when you are finished with doing NOTHING – you can now get onto doing SOMETHING more effectively!
Strategy Lessons From Karate!
The very word karate conjures in our mind image of breaking of bones and bricks alike. The power shout of “KIAAAAA” and kick of Bruce Lee are synonymous to the practice of Karate. In many places one learns it as a martial art for self defense. This blog is not about what Karate is and what it is not.. but it is about the strategy of Karate and some rare insight that we had from someone last week.
There are three golden rules that a master teaches in the ultimate practice of Karate.
First Rule: When you feel you are going to be attacked – see if you can run away
Second Rule: If you have to attack – Then attack the strongest person in the enemy camp.
Third Rule: If you have to sustain a fall – fall gracefully!
While the first rule amazed us for it seemed to be antithesis of what Karate stands for standing up to your tormentors and ferocious fights! But pondering on it at leisure made so much sense. If Karate is self defense – then true win comes if you can escape unscathed. It doesn’t come by flexing your muscle and answering every provocation. But how many of us follow this rule. At the slightest provocation, we all bristle up to the challenge! Does the way of winning lie only in answering every challenge?
The Second Rule reflects the oriental strategic intellect. By attacking the strongest person in the enemy camp – what you are first destroying in your enemies is their assessment of your weakness. By going for the jugular you are making the others around the strong man wonder “Maybe fighting this guy may not be easy enough!!” This very thought dents the confidence. If we analyse many sports strategy especially in cricket would be the teams trying to shake the strongest batsman.. once he falls most often rest is history!! But many of us when facing group opposition go for conversion of the weak minded people and not the leader of the camp!! Many times it is not the numbers that matter!
The third rule, we assumed with our inexperience means losing with grace. How wrong we were! In karate the worst damage happens not when you get hit.. but happens because of the impact of falling down. The damage that happens to the spine on falling is most often fatal. The third rule helps you to gauge the impact of the fall and prepare yourself in both mind and body to sustain the impact. Then the impact gets spread and you are able to jump back. Very often we are so focused on fighting our challenges that we don’t spend time to think on the impact. The very awareness of the stakes of the game provides the player a certain level of security mentally. It motivates him to avoid the chances to fall while also constantly tuning himself to become more resilient!
With such profound wisdom, is it then a surprise that our martial art masters of yore where not just good fighters but ace strategists?
The Occupation of Preoccupation
“You are so preoccupied!!” Shrieked my friend of 25 years.. as we sat down to catch a cup of cold coffee at a famous coffee joint. A very often heard statement from friends, relatives and close family members in the last two years that we had started the journey as Entrepreneurs.
I mused: when one is a student if he would pour his heart into getting first in his exam ignoring small pleasures like movie and outing, he is hailed by his parents (ridiculed by his peers) as having “focus”. But when someone invests the same amount of energy and attention to work, the circle around the individual brands him as “Workaholic”, and definitely with certain amount of derision!!
The term “Work Life Balance” connotation in the current context is also truly puzzling. If all of us have to work for 8 hours at office, come back at 7:30 to our den, stretch our legs in front of the fire, play with the dog, the child and profess our gratitude to family and friends for being there.. where would we all be? Would we be a society filled with happy people with great work-life balance.. or would we be a society which grows as growth allows it?
Then another question: how long can we remain happy as a society? To allow predominant set of the society to have a work-life balance, there are some life’s that have to be dedicated purely to WORK(the sportsman, the entrepreneurs, the scientists) and some purely to LIFE (the spiritual gurus, the seekers and likes) Can any achievement be possible without 100% focus? A case in point is Arjuna’s story.
As Arjuna poised to hit the bird that was suspended on a rotating target high above the sky, conversation went thus:
Dronacharya: Do you see the sky Arjuna?
Arjuna: No
Dronacharya: Do you see the Cloud Arjuna?
Arjuna: No
Dronacharya: Do you see the rotating wheel Arjuna?
Arjuna: No
Dronacharya: Do you see the bird Arjuna?
Arjuna: No
Dronacharya: Then what do you see Arjuna?
Arjuna: Only the bird’s eye!!
The story goes that it was this focus that distinguished Arjuna as an archer above the rest. While Arujna’s focus was for those 5 mins that he took to shoot at the target, for many entrepreneurs and achievers the duration spans decades.
This in itself makes the achievement even more arduous and the need to be focused even more imperative. For whatever period it takes to reach the goal, the mind cannot be occupied with anything other than the thought of the target. Is this wrong? Can this be any other way? Then is it not natural to the achiever that all other calling in life apart from the cause seem as distractions however noble and pressing they may be from other’s view?
In this situation should we as society/family and ecosystem support the single mindedness of the person – or seek to create the much needed balance for them? Should we brand these achievers as focused people set to create history or selfish individuals oblivious to other’s needs? It is indeed very difficult on the family and friends of the achiever to travel through this journey, always knowing there is something else occupying the minds and heart of the achiever – albeit temporarily. So what would be our choice?
Making News
“Empty Vessels Make More Noise” a famous adage of olden days that emphasize the importance of being modest and keeping silent instead of seeking publicity. An adage that was befitting when one is at school as the antidote to bragging. However truly, today in this competitive world “making noise” is taking a very different connotation.
Of late there has been a spurt of activities and coverage on social entrepreneurship and entrepreneurial Indians. If you open any of the magazines be it a local daily in the vernacular or a reputed business magazine, you see a set of inspiring stories about well educated IITs, IIMs and B-School grads making a mark in the field of Entrepreneurship. “Well done India!” is what comes to one’s mind as an immediate reaction. However if you are an avid and a regular reader of any and all business magazine you begin to notice an almost imperceptible trend – all the magazines are talking about the same group of entrepreneurs covering them from cover story to special write-ups. Then one begins to wonder – are these all the Entrepreneurs who are available? Are these the only evidence that we have today of Entrepreneurial success? Where are the other “Billions of Entrepreneurs?”
Why is the achievement of a “Mushroom cultivator” who is a woman of formidable spirit but much less colorful background, nominated by an international committee for the “Best Young Entrepreneur of 2009” is not being featured enough. Can she do with some helping in branding? Can she use some space in magazines to promote not only herself but Indian talent? What about the story of a team of social work students running an NGO for the last 5 years on essentially a thin Dutch funding? Can a feature in a famous B-magazine help them? A little attention from media can do wonders for them and our ecosystem.
People like these and scores of other entrepreneurs lack the skills of reaching out to the media. They do not have the infrastructure, the contacts, the muscle power and may be even the awareness of what the right kind of publicity can do to their business.
Media is doing exceptional work in bringing to the public attention corruption and other malpractices in society at large. No one can deny their role in awareness creation, education of society and inspiring young India. So one truly feels it is time now for Media to take over the role of promoting the indomitable spirit of Entrepreneurial India. This can happen only when we get to hear from them not only about the erudite few but also about the Silent Many.
Cost of Free
I remember when I was young (that was a real long time ago), a leading washing soap had announced an offer of an “Attractive Bowl” with three bars of washing Soap. Those were the days when my household would not have the luxury of bulk buying..the second Soap would cross our threshold only when no traces of first one can be found in any form or size. It was a period where 150% utilization was the norm. But to a young 15 year old, this advt was a true hooker.. just imagine an “Attractive Bowl” where one can keep so many things. And when the advt. would get telecast over the Doordarshan channel in our black and White EC TV, the “Attractive” adjective assumed connotation of a great cut glass bowl (close to today’s swarovski). After much salesmanship from a near “pig-headed” girl, my parents just gave in and decided to finance me for acquiring the three Soap bars, a near historic event. With all this preamble, you can imagine my consternation when the attractive bowl turned out to be a Cheap Plastic bowl of a sick green palor. The bowl got relegated to hold “Shikakai mix” in the bathroom and my large hearted parents never spoke about it ever, but I would turn red everytime I would spot the obnoxious “attractive bowl”. That was my first true tryst with the “Cost of Free!” but that was definitely not my LAST!
Over these years as a typical consumer and shopaholic I have paid money to buy a whole lot of things for “Free” from “Free Toy with an exhorbitantly priced burger” to “Free trip abroad to an exotic island (for which I need to first buy the exotic island!!)”. Getting something for free has been a bait that most of us bite eagerly much to the marketer’s delight and our frustration on hind sight. But this seldom stops us from reaching out next to choose a definitely higher priced product with a “Free” attachement over to a vanilla plain lower cost purchase. What makes us react in this “Predictably irrational” way to a free purchase? This has been an area of study for economists, marketing gurus and also people attempting to unlock the human behavior. Answers are plenty, hypothesis many – but cure few.
What becomes dangerous is when “Getting things for free” seeps down into arenas where critical decisions are being influenced. In B2B transactions these “Free” takes the form of service value adds. Especially if you are in small business or heading a department with limited budget, you tend to make decisions based on these “Value-adds” rather than core. We have seen our customers stuck with a domain name provider who promised free “Do it yourself” website – which turned out to be the most inflexible method of content management, we have seen cases where procurement team has chosen a vendor with a larger credit period – only to suffer delayed deliveries and poor quality, we have even seen business wring their hands helplessly after the software provider who promised free user training and 2 year support did not deliver the software on time!! In all these cases – it was this tendency of the decision maker to be distracted by the secondary value-adds from the servicing of primary need that caused the debacle. Most often these prove to be fatal distraction! While getting more value for money is an important aspect for decision making – it should not be the driving factor.
When we shop next time for either a new cell phone or a service from a vendor, apart from the MRP it may be wise for us to calculate “Cost of Free”
Carrying the Cross of being a Mentor
Being a true mentor is not a joke. It is not business. It is definitely not for ROI. It is for the sake of results, not yours but that of someone else. It is for the sake of the spirit of success, again not yours but someone else. It is the happiness of seeing the mentee achieve success that motivates the mentor. While the feeling is gratifying, the amount of effort one has to invest in all planes is not sparse. That is why I call it “carrying the cross” – taking the pressures and burden and genuinely feeling the need to make the mentee motivated and inclined to achieve results. What does it take to be a true mentor? Some of the key aspects include:
- Visualizing, Mentalizing, & Empathizing: Very often the mentor may need to visualize, mentalize and then empathize with the entrepreneur about his situation. Mentoring is not just advice on a certain aspect of the business, or a certain skill. It is rather for a balanced growth as a person and the business thereof.
- Practicing Candor: The mentors if they want to be true to their role need to practice candor. In a country like India where practicing candor may not show people in good light, this becomes increasingly difficult. But then it is this single aspect of calling a spade a spade, which will define the success of your mentee
- Enhancing the network: A true mentor takes the mentee one level higher in his professional life by enhancing his network by introducing the right people. This will happen only when the mentor has developed total trust on the mentee’s interest and also when the mentor can honestly say he is doing this without expecting any return, because network is something that is earned by the Mentor through a life-long process.
- Giving Selflessly: If the mentor has to see the mentee grow he/she must share the wisdom, experience, provide contacts and look at all possible ways in which the mentee can benefit from his association. For this to happen a rather subtle trait needs practice – selflessness! This trait is something that has to come naturally. It is quite difficult to teach or force selflessness into a person. So it is only those rare people who can see success of a stranger before themselves who become truly successful mentors. And let us remember the Mentor’s success is measured always as an extension of the mentee’s success.
Every Entrepreneur creates value for the ecosystem. It is Entrepreneurs who are going to shape India’s future. And Mentoring is going to be decisively the key strategy for ensuring this happens!!
Significance of Mentoring for an Entrepreneur
An Entrepreneur is one who is typically on a path that is new, untraveled, and different. He wants to break the tradition and live life differently. He is supposed to be a person who takes risks, travel paths generally not taken, fight against all conventional wisdom and generally is seen as a person averse to being told what to do. Then how and why does such a person require mentoring, which is more of a disciplining, channelizing and definitely a controlling influence? Is “Entrepreneurial Mentoring” then an oxymoron?
But then it is actually these very characteristics of an Entrepreneur that makes mentoring the most important and significant success criteria. Without an external unbiased stabilizing force, many Entrepreneurs will expend all their energy and resources in a sense of zestful abandon under the guise of trying to short circuit their route to success. If you examine the 95% of failed ventures or the 5% of successful ventures, the absence or presence of a strong guiding force will be seen as one of the key reasons. The force is not merely inspiring from a distance but is one that is ingrained and present in the everyday working of the Entrepreneur
Some of the reasons why Entrepreneurs require mentors, more so if they are young at age or lack enough experiences (I am not referring to age) may include:
Lack of experience: One often questions the wisdom that comes with age. Youth feel they’d rather not wait to get old to learn from life. But the advantage of having some one who has “been there” and “done that earlier” not only puts the Entrepreneur on a fast track learning route, but is key in stopping him from making costly mistakes.
Handling Situations: Having a mentor is like the safety valve in the pressure cooker. An Entrepreneur is almost always under pressure. If not released at regular intervals, the pressure could get dangerous and all that can happen is the lid blowing off. Similar to the safety valve, very often an Entrepreneur finds interaction with his Mentor soothing and reassuring. It helps the Entrepreneur to vent off his steam of frustrations, disappointments, fears and problems. This gives him time to react and think of solutions rather than take problems head on in an emotional manner.
A Checkpoint: Normally the Entrepreneur(s) take what comes on and generally operates in silos with very little check. They like the freedom, the responsibility, the risks, the results, etc They normally don’t like being questioned, but by appointing / accepting one as a mentor, they can put a checkpoint for their actions. This may, rather will add tremendous value to their decision making as decisions then are not outcome of reactions but are planned responses.
Trusted Sounding Board: Entrepreneurs today have access to coaches / consultants, but it is important for one to feel secure sounding off very important things to someone who thinks for the Entrepreneurs welfare without expecting anything in return except the Entrepreneurs success. This is where a mentor comes in and plays the important role. Because mentoring may not work too well if it is done like a service for a fee. The fact that a mentor is not attached to any benefit that his advice provides, nor is obligated financially to the Entrepreneur, is one that makes the mentor the most trusted and respected advisor.
Helping Hand
How many of us run to catch the child as it takes its first unsure steps? How many times we have held longer than necessary to the cycle that our ward is pedaling while trying to learn cycling? We do it almost every time we sense someone dear to us may falter as they take their unsure steps. While all these cases seem justified from a protectionist sense we wonder at times if we carry it too far when it comes to grown ups seeking help.
When we see someone dear to us go through cross roads of life, proactively we tend to move forward and extend a helping hand – along with set of well intentioned advices. A pep talk, a pat on the shoulder and at times a broad shoulder for a long cry, comprises our advisory kit bag. The advising episode often leaves both parties tired but feeling distinctly better. But then peace is short lived!! We are not decrying the noble efforts of the advisor. In fact, all of us have to be thankful for those large hearted people who are there for us any time all time. Life would be difficult without those who feel for others pain and worries. We just want to table another perspective of the art of advising
There is a firm belief that a problem can be resolved by being a good listener and sharing experiences. Also is the myth that dispensing of across the table advice is a proven recipe for resolution. Very often across the table advices, are given with a short term focus of only making the person feel better and hence is not the solution. In such cases, one will find the situation repeating itself in frustratingly frequent times with increasing intensity.
Sympathy, Empathy and Advice are different aspects of resolution of problem. While the first two are participatory and temporary, the only form of that proposes resolution is unbiased Advice. But when advice giving is confused with short term sympathizing and empathizing, it leaves the problem to only get stronger and larger.
To advice you need to understand the problem’s root, you need to understand the perspective of the person’s view point and you also need to acknowledge that view point as true however irrational it may sound on the first hear. And beyond all this you need to have a clear visualization of the solution from the person’s point of view and not necessarily only pulled from your experience.
Till date the most popular advice that has been dispensed to people who feel bad about a situation by a well intentioned advisor is “I don’t see why you feel this way. Just cheer up. Things are not as bad as what you imagine”. The advisor then goes on to amply justify by citing the many positive points that one can see in the same situation. As a result of effective oratorical delivery by the advisor, the person’s focus swings and synchs temporarily to the view point of the advisor. The picture now is perfect, every one retires happy. However, in due course the person begins to perceive the situation once again from his own view point, he gets increasingly confused as to why he is once again feeling disappointed. If there was no problem – then why is he feeling it? This also leads to the worst infliction – self doubt. He approaches the wise advisor and the advisor proceeds to push the perspective of the person under the carpet with vociferous, convincing, statistically proven positive data – all seen from the eyes and the experience of the well meaning advisor.
Very little time is spent by the advisor to understand “When I see so many positives, what is making this person view it otherwise? What is it that this situation is conveying to him? Why is this message being conveyed to him? And what should he do about it?” Very often if the advisor is closely involved with the situation, the unbiased point of view gets further compromised decreasing the ability to advice further.
When as a potential advisor, you feel pained by a close person’s turmoil – but cannot find reasons or rational for the same, it may mean you need to understand the WHY behind the pain better. It is not yet the time for dispensing advice, however helpful you may feel. You need to first trust that there is a reason behind the pain and however irrational, the reason needs to be found out. You need to be aware your bias and involvement may be preventing you from understanding this. This is the time maybe to empathize, saying “I understand you are troubled. I want to help – but am equally puzzled. Tell me if I can do anything that can help you clear the mist”. We need to understand Advice is not an intelligent opinion or a positive view. Advice is a method of encouraging the person to find answers, advising is guiding and not instruction.
This Diwali as we all practice the “Joy of Giving” let us also see if we can in a more mature manner learn and practice the art of “Giving Advices”
